On jokes...

Can someone tell me a joke where no one is offended. This means:

1) No sexist jokes
2) No religious jokes
3) No racial jokes
4) No jokes about vegetarian and non-vegetarian
5) No jokes about geeks
6) No jokes where geeks are superior to non-geeks
7) No jokes where closed source or proprietary software gets bashed.
8) No jokes about animals (I don't want PETA at my door)
9) Follow the pattern please...

Go go go...